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the United states is a crazy place, with crazy people. Sometimes, the crazy people are in charge of making laws, which may explain some of the more simply "because I said so" laws out there.  I will now post 10 ridiculous laws for each state. (Note: some only apply to a certain city or area of a state, those area will be bolded. Note x2: It is just a fact that some states are smarter than others, thus not ALL states will have exactly 10 laws. Sorry!) Enjoy!

AlabamaEdit

  1.  Anniston: You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street. 
  2. You must have windshield wipers on your car.
  3. Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.
  4. You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
  5. Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. 
  6. You cannot chain your alligator to a fire hydrant.
  7. It is illegal to stab yourself to gain someone's pity. < Actually, this one has some good logic. Alabama, mind if i take that one? 
  8. It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.

Montgomery: It is considered an inimum and rarely found to exist. Edit

  1. Fairbanks: It is considered an offense to give alcoholic beverages to a moose.
  2. Moose may not be viewed from an airplane. 
  3. In Alaska it is illegal to whisper in someone's ear while they are moose hunting.
  4. Kangaroos are not allowed in barber shops at any time. 
  5. It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.

ArizonaEdit

  1. A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. 
  2. You may not have more than two dildos in a house.
  3. Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
  4. When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person possesses. 
  5. Hayden: If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined.
  6. Tucson: women may not wear pants.
  7. Hunting camels is prohibited.
  8. There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus. 
  9. It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.
  10. Nogales: An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders.

ArkansasEdit

  1. A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise. 
  2. Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.
  3. Little Rock: Dogs may not bark after 6 PM
  4. An Arkansas legislator not long ago proposed that the state provide growth hormones to dwarfs. 
  5. It's illegal to mispronounce the name of the state of Arkansas in that state.
  6. Fayetteville: It's illegal to kill "any living creature".
  7. In Arkansas it is illegal to buy or sell blue lightbulbs.
  8. Little Rock: Flirtation between the members of the opposite sex on the streets may result in a 30-day jail term.
  9. Little Rock: It is unlawful to walk one's cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday
  10. A voter is only allowed five minutes to mark his ballot. 

CaliforniaEdit

  1. Pacific Grove: You can be fined $500 if you bother a butterfly
  2. Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship. 
  3. San Francisco: it unlawful to use used underwear to wipe off cars in a car wash
  4. Baldwin Park:  Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
  5. Blythe: You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.
  6. Burlingame:  Caramel Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk. 
  7. California only fairly recently legalized the sale of alcoholic beverages in nudist colonies.
  8. Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.
  9. Giving or receiving oral sex is prohibited. (but really, is there anywhere it's not??)
  10. It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.

ColoradoEdit

  1. Crippe Creek: It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building
  2. Denver: It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor
  3. Durango: It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes "unbecoming" on one's sex
  4. Denver: it is illegal for Barber's to give massages to nude customers unless it is for instructional purposes
  5. Pueblo: to raise or permit a dandelion to grow within the city limits is against the law
  6. Logan county: It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep
  7. It is illegal for a woman wearing a red dress to be out on the streets after 7 PM
  8. Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday
  9. Colorado law requires that wine be sold in containers of at least 24 ounces and spirits in containers at least a fifth of a gallon. But, at the same time, it also decrees that no alcohol beverage can be stored in hotel minibars in anything larger than miniature containers.
  10. colorado springs: It is permissible to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays. 

ConnecticutEdit

  1. Atwoodville:  prohibits people from playing Scrabble while waiting for a politician to speak.
  2. You may not educate dogs.
  3. A pickle is not officially a pickle unless it bounces
  4. You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.
  5. Devon: It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
  6. Southington: Silly string is banned.  (Well screw you, too!)
  7. In Connecticut any dogs with tattoos must be reported to the police
  8. Hartford: it's illegal to plant a tree in the street.
  9. New Britain: It is illegal for fire trucks to exceed 25mph, even when going to a fire. 
  10. It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades.

DelawareEdit

  1. Delaware prohibits horse racing of any kind on Good Friday and Easter Sunday.
  2. In Delaware it is illegal to get married on a dare.
  3. In Delaware you may not sell dead people for money without a license.
  4. Lewes: It is illegal to wear pants that are "firm fitting" around the waist
  5. It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink. 

District of ColumbiaEdit

  1. A D.C. federal judge has ruled that begging is a form of free speech protected by the Constitution. That means that mugging is free speech too, only more persuasive.
  2.  In Washington D.C. it is illegal to post a notice in public which calls another person a 'coward' for refusing to accept a challenge to duel.
  3. The U.S. government says it's a crime to give false weather reports. 
  4. The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.
  5. It is unlawful for small boys to throw stones, at any time, at any place in the District of Columbia.

FloridaEdit

  1. Sarasota: It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit. 
  2. You may not kiss your wife's breasts.
  3. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. 
  4. You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays
  5. Big Pine Key: It is illegal to molest a Key deer; If caught one will be fined or will have to go to jail. 
  6. You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.
  7. Daytona Beach: The molestation of trash cans is banned.
  8. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
  9. Tampa Bay: forbids rats to leave the ships docked here.
  10. Tampa Bay:  It is illegal to eat cottage cheese on Sunday after 6:00 P.M.

GeorgiaEdit

  1. Acworth: All citizens must own a rake.
  2. Though it is illegal to spit from a car or bus, citizens may spit from a truck.
  3.  Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
  4. One man may not be on another man's back. (So no piggyback rides? :'( )
  5. Columbus: It is illegal to carry a chicken by it's feet down Broadway on Sunday.
  6. Jonesboro: It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy"
  7. Gainesville: Chicken must be eaten with the hands.
  8. Quitman: It is illegal for a chicken to cross the road. (Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road?)
  9. It is illegal in Georgia to use profanity in the presence of a corpse.  (You know how impressionable they are.)
  10. Columbus: it illegal to sit on your porch in an indecent position.

HawaiiEdit

  1. All residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat.
  2. It's illegal for a shooting gallery to offer liquor as a prize. The shooter might want to come back after drinking the prize and try again.
  3. Coins are not allowed to be placed in one's ears.
  4. It used to be the law in Hawaii that children had to obey all "lawful and moral" commands of their parents.
  5. Honolulu: Within the limits of any public park, it is unlawful to annoy any bird.
  6. In Hawaii it is illegal to get a tattoo behind your ear or on your eyelid unless in the presence of a registered physician.

Idaho (Who da ho? Idaho!)Edit

  1. Boise: Residents may not fish from a giraffe's back. 
  2. Idaho Falls: Residents may not fish from a giraffe's back. 
  3. You may not fish on a camel's back.
  4.  Idaho state law makes it illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds. (Evelyn approves. XD)
  5. Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime.
  6. In Idaho walking along the street with a red-tipped cane is strictly prohibited.
  7. Pocatello: A person may not be seen in public without a smile on their face. (I blame the optimists.)
  8. Coeur d' Alene: If a police officer approaches a vehicle and suspects that the occupants are engaging in sex, he must either honk, or flash his lights and wait for three minutes before approaching the car. 
  9. Idaho and other states allow members of the Native American church to use the hallucinogenic plant peyote in religious services.
  10. Pocatello: "The carrying of concealed weapons is forbidden, unless same are exhibited to public view."

IllinoisEdit

  1. "Dwarf-tossing," the strange practice of hurling dwarfs in padded suits, is outlawed in the bars of Springfield, Ill., because it's dangerous and exploitative. The practice is apparently allowed elsewhere in town, with a special permit.
  2. Zion:  It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any other domesticated animals.
  3. A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.
  4. You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own conversation. (I hope this isn't a stupid question, but HOW do you EAVESDROP on YOURSELF???)
  5. Champaign: One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth. ( I'd like to think COMMON SENSE will take care of this one.)
  6. The English language is not to be spoken.  (Governor: Tratar con él!)
  7. Chicago: Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire (But what if my hamburger is undercooked?)
  8. Pullman: It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits. 
  9. Eureka: A man with a mustache may not kiss a woman. 
  10. Joliet: Town fathers, reflecting the pet peeve of hearing their town's name mispronounced 'Jolly-ETTE' when all local folk know it's pronounced 'Joe-lee-ETTE', made pronouncing it Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable by a $5 fine. (I love these guys)

IndianaEdit

  1. "Spiteful Gossip" and "talking behind a person's back" are illegal. 
  2. You can get out of paying for a dependent's medical care by praying for him/her.
  3. A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17.  (Go home, Indiana. You're drunk.)
  4. You are required to pour your drink into a glass
  5. Back in 1924, a monkey was convicted in South Bend of the crime of smoking a cigarette and sentenced to pay a 25 dollar fine and the trial costs. 
  6. Within four hours of eating garlic, a person may not enter a movie house, theater, or ride a public streetcar. 
  7. Bathing is prohibited during the winter.
  8. The value of Pi is 4, and not 3.1415.
  9. Beech Grove: It is forbidden to eat watermelon in the park. (They don't call it BEECH Grove for nothin'.)
  10. Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans. 

IowaEdit

  1. Marshalltown:  Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants
  2. Ottumwa: Within the city limits, a man may not wink at any woman he does not know. (This applies to you as well, Cdk.)
  3. One-armed piano players must perform for free. 
  4. Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.
  5. Indianola: The "Ice Cream Man" and his truck are banned.
  6. Fort madison: the fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before attending a fire. 
  7. An owner or employee of an establishment in Iowa that sells alcohol can't legally consume a drink there after closing for business.
  8. Don't plan on running a "tab" in Iowa; it's illegal. 
  9. If a law enforcement officer is having a drink in a bar in Iowa and an employee pours water down the drain, the water is legally considered an alcohol beverage intended for unlawful purposes. 
  10. Dubuque: any hotel in the city limits must have a water bucket and a hitching post in front of the building. 

KansasEdit

  1. Dodge City: All places of business must provide a horse water troft 
  2. Kansas City (Who cares if it's in Missouri!): saying the name "George Washington" without adding the phrase "blessed be his name," can land you with a fine of up to fifty cents. 
  3. Natoma: it's illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suites.
  4. Wichita: at the intersection of Douglas and Broadway, all motorists are required to stop at the intersection, exit their vehicles, and fire three shotgun rounds, before continuing on their way. 
  5. Topeka: The installation of bathtubs is prohibited.
  6. It is illegal to catch bullfrogs in a tomato patch.
  7. The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks. 
  8. It is illegal to hunt whales. (kinda stupid with the geographic location of Kansas in mind)
  9. LAWrence: No one may wear a bee in their hat. 
  10. It is illegal to put ice cream on cherry pie in Kansas.  (I'm never going to a place like this!)

KentuckyEdit

  1. Murray: says the superintendent of sanitation "shall determine whether a person is small, medium or large." Why the superintendent should make this determination is left unsaid. 
  2. A Kentucky statute says: "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she is escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club." Later, an amendment proposed: "The provisions of this statute shall not apply to any female weighing less than sixty pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds; nor shall it apply to female horses."
  3. All nude people in your house must be registered in Kentucky.
  4. By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground". 
  5. Frankfort: makes it against the law to shoot off a policeman's tie. 
  6. In Kentucky every citizen of is required to take a shower once a year.
  7.  In Kentucky you need a license to walk around nude on your property. 
  8. It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky. (I can imagine how productive that'd be either way.)
  9. Lexington: It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket
  10. Owensboro: A woman may not buy a hat without her husband's permission

LouisianaEdit

  1. An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
  2.  Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault", while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault". 
  3. It is illegal to gargle in public places. 
  4. It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol. (You CAN rob a bank at will, however. *eyeroll*)
  5. It illegal for a woman to drive a car unless her husband is waving a flag in front of it. 
  6. Lafayette: to play a musical instrument for the purpose of attracting attention, without a license is illegal.
  7. It's legal to walk down the street with a drink in New Orleans, even to drive with a drink. But if you fall over and block the sidewalk, you've just broken the law.
  8. Rituals that involve the ingestion of blood, urine, or fecal matter are not allowed. (*gags* I'd HOPE! X_x)
  9. Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
  10. Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.

MaineEdit

  1. After January 14th you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorations still up. 
  2. Augusta: to stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law.
  3. It's illegal to clean salmon along Maine's upper Kennebec River. Enforcement of this law has been made easier for many years by the fact that, because of a dam, there are no salmon on the upper Kennebec River. 
  4. In Maine, it is illegal to sell a car on Sunday unless it comes equipped with plumbing. 
  5. In Maine it's illegal to catch lobsters with your bare hands. 
  6. Portland: shoelaces must be tied while walking down the street.
  7. Waterville: it is illegal to blow one's nose in public. 
  8. Portland:  It's unlawful to tickle a woman's chin with a feather duster
  9. Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack.
  10.  You may not step out of a plane in flight.

Maryland (w00t!)Edit

  1.  Baltimore: Though you may spit on a city roadway, spitting on city sidewalks is prohibited. You may not curse inside the city limits. 
  2. Baltimore:  You may not curse inside the city limits. (Mmmmmhm. Good luck with that.)
  3. Baltimore: It's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits
  4. You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish. 
  5. Baltimore: it is illegal to mistreat oysters.
  6. Thistles may not grow in one's yard.  (Guilt is coursing through my veins.)
  7. Baltimore: it is not legal to take a lion to the movies.
  8. It is a violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt. $10 fine.
  9. Halethrope: kisses longer than one second are illegal.
  10. In Maryland, a woman may not go through her husband's pockets while he is sleeping.

MassachusettsEdit

  1.  A Boston mayor who disliked dancing and liked to retire early once banned midnight dancing in the Hub City. 
  2. A woman can not be on top in sexual activities. (¡sʞɹǝظ)
  3. Boston: No one may take a bath without a ***this text is here to keep the spam filter from acting*** prescription.
  4.  Bullets may not be used as currency
  5. Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.
  6. Hingham: You may not have colored lights on your house if it can be seen from Main Street. Only white lights may be visible. If you live on Main Street and want to paint your house, the colors must be approved by the historical society. 
  7. Holyoke: makes it unlawful to water your lawn when it is raining. (not sure which is more unnecessary, the law or the act is describes.)
  8. In 1659 the state of Massachusetts outlawed Christmas. (Reminds me of the plot to a certain christmas special...)
  9. Boston: it's illegal to post an advertisement on a public urinal.
  10. Boston: it is illegal to take a bath unless instructed to do so by a physician.

MichiganEdit

  1. A Michigan law states that a wife's hair legally belongs to her husband.
  2. Clawson: there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens. 
  3. Detroit: it is illegal to sleep in a bathtub.
  4. Rochester: anyone bathing in public must have his or her bathing suit inspected by a police officer.
  5. It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house. 
  6. Detroit: It is illegal to loiter in the city morgue
  7. The use of the names of dead presidents to sell alcohol in Michigan is prohibited.
  8. Under an 1889 law, the health officer of East Jordan, Mich., could send any nonresident with an infectious disease back to where he came from, as long as the person could travel. If not, the officer could rent a house for use as a pest house.
  9.  A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission. 
  10. Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony. 

MinnesotaEdit

  1. law declares that no child under the age of twelve may talk over the telephone unless monitored by a parent.
  2. A Minnesota tax form is quite thorough. Some would say too thorough. It even asks for your date of death. 
  3. A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.
  4. You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan. 
  5. All bathtubs must have feet. (You know how they love to walk around when not in use.)
  6. Virginia: You're not allowed to park your elephant on Main Street.
  7. Brainerd: Every man is required by law to grow a beard.
  8. Alexandria: No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
  9. Harper Woods: It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets. (...Was there a lot of this happening?)
  10. It is illegal to sleep naked. 

MississippiEdit

  1. Columbus: The fine for waving a gun in public is higher than actually shooting it. 
  2. Temperance: you can't walk a dog without dressing it in diapers. 
  3. Oxford: it's illegal to "create unnecessary noises." (I once had a class like this...)
  4. It is illegal to drive around the town square more than 100 times in a single session.
  5. Tylertown: It is unlawful to shave in the center of main street. (I blame the hobos.)
  6. Adultery or Fornication (living together while not married or having sex with someone that is not your spouse) results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison. 
  7. Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging
  8. Horses are not to be housed within 50 feet of any road.
  9. Brandon: it is illegal to attempt to stop someone from walking down the sidewalk by parking a motorhome in their path. 
  10. It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public

MissouriEdit

  1. Kansas City: Children can buy shotguns... but not toy cap guns.
  2. Excelsior Springs: Worrying squirrels is not tolerated.
  3. Four women may not rent an apartment together. (Every law tells a story.)
  4. Hard objects may not be thrown by hand. (Ooooooh! I see what you did there!)
  5. Springfield: door to door salesman are prohibited from selling their goods while standing in the middle of the road, screaming at passing vehicles. 
  6. It is not illegal to speed.
  7. Mole: Frightening a baby is in violation of the law. 
  8. Purdy: Dancing is strictly prohibited.
  9. Anyone under the age of 21 who takes out household trash containing even a single empty alcohol beverage container can be charged with illegal possession of alcohol in Missouri.
  10. Buckner: In this small town of only 4,000, yard waste may be burned any day except Sunday. 

MontanaEdit

  1. It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone. 
  2. Balls may not be thrown. 
  3. Bozemen: bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown -- if they're nude.
  4. Seven or more Indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them. 
  5. Helena: mandates that a woman can't dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.  (Good idea, but i think this is rendered useless unless drunks start caring about laws.)
  6. Montana just legalized the production of caviar. (Fish eggs FTW!)
  7. It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail. 
  8. Billings: it is illegal for employees of the city's communications center to program their phones with speed dial. 
  9. It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime in Montana.
  10. It is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex in any other position other than missionary style. 

NebraskaEdit

  1. A man is not allowed to run around with a shaved chest.
  2. Waterloo: Barbers are forbidden from eating onions between 7 A.M. and 7 P.M.
  3. A parent can be arrested if her/his child cannot hold back a burp during a church service.
  4. Hastings: The owner of every hotel is required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts (Stupid marketing schemes)
  5. Omaha: Barbers are forbidden by law from shaving a man's chest
  6. Lehigh: Doughnut holes may not be sold (They might as well outlaw fun.)
  7. In the fine state of Nebraska, it is not legal for a tavern owner to serve beer unless a nice kettle of soup is also brewing. 
  8. It is illegal to sleep naked in a hotel/ motel room.
  9. It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license. 
  10. It is Illegal to go whale fishing.

NevadaEdit

  1. Elko: Everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask.
  2. It's still "legal" to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property. 
  3. Reno: staging a marathon dance is illegal, although posting a notice on a fire hydrant about illegal dance marathons is not. 
  4. It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway. (DRIVE a CAMEL... Is this not making sense to anybody else?)
  5. In the old days in Nevada a man caught beating his wife was tied to a stake for eight hours a day with a sign that read, "Wife Beater" fastened to his chest.  
  6. A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day.
  7. Clark County: An ordinance makes bringing a concealable fire arm into the county illegal unless it is registered with the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department. In order to register a handgun, however, it must be brought in to the police station. Furthermore, you may not register a gun on the weekends, but the police may prosecute you at that time.
  8. Las Vegas: It's against the law to pawn your dentures.
  9. Las Vegas: you can bet on any team--except The University of Nevada at Las Vegas.
  10. In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.

New HampshireEdit

  1. Any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a device to gather its feces.
  2.  If a person is caught raking the beaches, picking up litter, hauling away trash, building a bench for the park, or many other kind things without a permit, he/she may be fined $150 for maintaining the national forest without a permit.
  3. In New Hampshire it is illegal to inhale bus fumes with the intent of inducing euphoria. 
  4. You may not run machinery on Sundays. (That include computers?)
  5.  It is considered an offense to check into a hotel under an assumed name.
  6. New Hampshire law forbids you to tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.
  7. It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.
  8. On Sundays citizens may not use the bathroom while looking up
  9. In New Hampshire you are prohibited from pawning the clothes off your back to pay off gambling debts.

New JerseyEdit

  1. Bernards Township: It is illegal to frown as the town is a "Frown-Free Town Zone". 
  2. Caldwell: You may not dance or wear shorts on the main avenue.
  3. You may not slurp your soup.
  4. If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.
  5. You cannot pump your own gas. All gas stations are full service and full service only.  (More of a convenience, is it not?)
  6. Berkley Heights: you may not walk your cattle on the street on Sunday.
  7. Newark: Unless you have a doctor's note, it's illegal to buy ice cream after 6 PM
  8. It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season. 
  9. Trenton: You may not throw a bad pickle in the street. Pickles are not to be consumed on Sundays. 
  10. It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer. 

New MexicoEdit

  1. A city council member in Albuquerque, N.M., introduced a resolution a few years ago to ban Santa Claus from the city. The matter was defeated.
  2. State officials ordered 400 words of "sexually explicit material" to be cut from Romeo and Juliet.
  3. Carrizozo: It's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.
  4.  Las Cruces: You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street.
  5. Albuquerque: it is illegal for cab drivers to reach out and pull potential customers into their cabs.
  6. In recent years, several efforts have been made to legalize camel racing and ostrich racing in New Mexico, but to no avail. Those bills were defeated, but the legislature recently allowed gambling on bicycle races.
  7. Carlsbad: it's legal for couples to have sex in a parked vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or van has drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.

New YorkEdit

  1. A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll. 
  2. A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
  3. Carmel: A man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.
  4. Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers". (I'll assume this is more of a NY thing. and let it fly.)
  5. During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks.
  6. In New York, you can teach your pet parrot to speak, but not to squawk. (Sounds kinda like one of those Russian Reversal jokes.)
  7. Staten Island: It is illegal for a father to call his son a "faggot" or "queer" in an effort to curb "girlie behavior." (Awww, I think this is a good one.)
  8. It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
  9. It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing."  (gotta loves those politically correct terms.)
  10. It is illegal to jump off the Empire State building. (Well, I mean, it's not like they'll take you to jail.)

North CarolinaEdit

  1. All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart. Making love in the space between the beds is strictly forbidden. 
  2. Barber: Fights between cats and dogs are prohibited.
  3. Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.
  4. Hornytown: Massage parlors have been banned. (personally, I'm more concerned about the name of the city.)
  5. Asheville: it is illegal to sneeze on city streets
  6. If a man and a woman who aren't married go to a hotel/motel and register themselves as married then, according to state law, they are legally married.
  7. It's against the law to sing off key in North Carolina.
  8. Rocky Mount: It is required that you must pay a property tax on your dog.
  9. Tryon: it is illegal for anyone to play the piccolo between the hours of 11 p.m. and 7:30 a.m.
  10.  A recent proposal that ministers walk the beat with police officers in Belmont, N.C., notes "the ministers will carry a Bible instead of a gun."

North DakotaEdit

  1. Beer and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant. 
  2. Fargo: One may be jailed for wearing a hat while dancing, or even for wearing a hat to a function where dancing is taking place. 
  3. Collierville: Keeping clean can be a chilly proposition, as a law there says all bathtubs must be kept in the backyard.
  4. In North Dakota, charitable groups can hold stud poker games to raise money, but only twice a year 
  5. It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon.
  6. In North Dakota it is illegal to keep an elk in a sandbox in your backyard. 
  7. It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
  8. Waverly: you better not let your horse near the tub, since horses are prohibited from sleeping in them, as well as in the house.

OhioEdit

  1. According to Ohio law, it's against the law to kill a housefly within 160 feet of a church without a license. 
  2. A policeman may bite a dog to quiet him. However, the reverse is not true, even if it's a police dog.
  3. Centerville: Cars are not allowed to scare horses
  4. Cleveland: law forbids you to operate a motor vehicle while sitting in another person's lap. 
  5. Columbus: It is illegal for stores to sell corn flakes on Sunday
  6. Oxford: it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.
  7. Xenia: it's illegal to spit in a salad bar (Eww! I hope so!)
  8. It is illegal to get a fish drunk. 
  9. It is illegal to mistreat anything of great importance.  (Cool! Y'know, I'm kind of a big deal...)
  10. Marion: You cannot eat a doughnut and walk backwards on a city street. (Shame. I see people doing this stuff at lunch all the time, and it always ends up in an amusing accident.)

OklahomaEdit

  1. A City Ordinance in Oklahoma, states that it shall be unlawful to put any hypnotized person in a display window.
  2. Ada: If you wear New York Jets clothing, you may be put in jail.
  3. Clinton: has a law against masturbating while watching two people having sex in a car. (Oh, that is just wrong in more than one way.)
  4. Clinton: Molesting an automobile is illegal.
  5. Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property. (We have a lot of personification in this state.)
  6. Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state. 
  7. Bromide: it is illegal for children to use towels as capes and jump from houses pretending to be superman. (but it's okay if I'm pretending to be Batman?)
  8.  In Oklahoma, people who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.
  9. Tulsa: it is against the law to open a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer.
  10. Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another's hamburger. 

OregonEdit

  1. Canned corn is not to be used as bait for fishing.
  2. You must let your dishes drip dry.
  3. Myrtle Creek: One may not box with a kangaroo. 
  4. One may not bathe without wearing "suitable clothing," i.e., that which covers one's body from neck to knee.
  5. People may not whistle underwater.
  6. Portland: You cannot wear roller skates in restrooms. 
  7. Beaverton: You must buy a $10 permit to be allowed to install a burglar alarm. 
  8. Eugene: It is illegal to show movies or attend a car race on Sundays. It is legal to conduct a horse race or a symphony concert. 
  9. Hood River: Juggling is strictly prohibited without a license.
  10. In Oregon anyone with a bad reputation is prohibited from distributing malt beverages.

PennsylvaniaEdit

  1. All fire hydrants must be checked one hour before all fires. (So there's no excuse to not knowing when there's going to be a fire, got it, mister?)
  2. Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue.
  3. Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart, piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes. (Ready? Set? go!)
  4. By law, "watch stuffers" are unwelcome in McKeesport, Pa. Now, no one is quite sure what a watch stuffer does, but whatever he does, he better do it somewhere else. 
  5. Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish.
  6. Hazelton: there is a law on the books that prohibits a person from sipping a carbonated drink while lecturing students in a school auditorium. 
  7. Philadelphia: you can't put pretzels in bags.
  8. It is illegal to have over 16 women live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel. However up to 120 men can live together, without breaking the law.
  9. It it illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors. 
  10. You may not sing in the bathtub. (But isn't that proven to make you live longer or something?)

Rhode IslandEdit

  1. Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void.
  2. Providence: it is illegal to sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday.
  3. It is considered an offense to throw pickle juice on a trolley.
  4. Providence: It is illegal to wear transparent clothing. (Where would one GET transparent clothing anyway? just askin'.)
  5. Exercising any labor, business, or work, or using any game, sport, play, or recreation, or causing any of the above to be done to or by your children, servants, or apprentices on the first day of the week (Sunday) results in a penalty of $5 for the first offense and $10 for the second. 
  6. Newport:  it is illegal to smoke from a pipe after sunset.
  7. Scituate: it is illegal to keep a flock of chickens in your motorhome if you live in a trailer park. 
  8. Impersonating a town sealer, auctioneer, corder of wood, or a fence-viewer is against the law. Penalty: $20 to $100 fine. 
  9. It is illegal to challenge someone to a duel, or accept a duel, even it it is never actually fought. Penalty: Imprisonment for one to seven years. 
  10. It is illegal to coast downhill in your car with your transmission in neutral, or with the clutch disengaged. 

South CarolinaEdit

  1. Charleston: The Fire Department may blow up your house.
  2.  Fountain Inn: Horses are to wear pants at all times. 
  3. It is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide. (If you're going to take your own life, there should be no "oops I slipped"s involved.)
  4. It is considered an offense to get a tattoo. 
  5. It is illegal to communicate with a woman using obscene messages. 
  6. in South Carolina, it is perfectly legal for a man to beat his wife. But only if it's on the courthouse steps on Sunday. (Now, isn't this somewhat contradictory of the one I posted above it?)
  7. Lancaster County: It is illegal to dance in public. 
  8. Spartanburg: Eating watermelons in the Magnolia Street cemetery is forbidden.
  9.  A railroad my not remove itself from a town of more than five hundred people
  10. All schools must prepare a suitable program for Francis Willard Day.

South DakotaEdit

  1. If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property you may shoot them.
  2. Sioux Falls: Every hotel room is required to have twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make love on the floor between the beds! 
  3.  In South Dakota no horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.
  4. In South Dakota it is illegal to try to convince a pacifist to renounce his beliefs by threatening to arm-wrestle him. (Well done.)
  5. It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.  (Why would you, anyway? It's cheese, man! Talk about exciting!)
  6. Movies that show police officers being struck, beaten, or treated in an offensive manner are forbidden.
  7. Spearfish: If three or more Indians are walking down the street together, they can be considered a war party and fired upon.

TennesseeEdit

  1. "Crimes against nature" are prohibited
  2. Driving is not to be done while asleep (Thank you, captain obvious.)
  3. Memphis: it is illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of it, waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians. (Okay, that is just sexist.)
  4. In Tennessee it is illegal to use a lasso to catch fish.
  5. It's illegal for frogs to croak after 11 PM.
  6. Memphis: It is illegal to give any pie to fellow diners. It is also illegal to take unfinished pie home. All pie must be eaten on the premises. (I don't like this place. >:C )
  7. The age of consent is 16, but 12 if the girl is a virgin. (I like the sound of that )
  8. Stealing a horse is punishable by hanging. 
  9. Oneida: An ordinance forbids anyone to sing the song "It Ain't Goin' To Rain No Mo'."
  10.  Any person crippling, killing or in any way destroying a proud bitch that is running at large shall not be held liable for the damages due to such killing or destruction. (I hope they're talking about female dogs)

TexasEdit

  1. A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.  
  2. Clarendon: It is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster.
  3. Dallas: It's illegal to possess realistic dildos. (Annnnnd for the LESS authentic-looking?)
  4. Dallas County: it is illegal to own any realistic looking, phallic shaped, personal massager more than one foot in length. ("PERSONAL MASSAGER")
  5. Kingsville: there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property
  6. Mesquite: it is illegal for kids to have unusual haircuts.
  7. It is illegal to have an open container in a car. (HOW... I... In WHAT way is this harmful???)
  8.  It is legal to commit a homicide as long as you tell the person when, and how you are going to kill them. (Texas sure likes to play it fair, don't they?)
  9. In Texas, sixteen-year old divorced girls are prohibited from talking about sex during high school extracurricular activities. (No comment.)
  10. Port Arthur: Obnoxious odors may not be emitted while in an elevator. 

UtahEdit

  1.  A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence. 
  2. Tremonton: law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance.
  3. It is illegal not to drink milk. 
  4. Logan: Women may not swear. 
  5. Salt Lake City: No one may walk down the street carrying a paper bag containing a violin. 
  6. The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (BAFT) bans the word "refreshing" to describe any alcohol beverage. 
  7. Trout Creek: Pharmacists may not sell gunpowder to cure headaches. 
  8. A Utah legislator proposed a resolution urging that each TV weather person be required to provide an ice cream cone to every member of the state House of Representatives whenever the forecast was wrong. The resolution failed, perhaps on First Amendment grounds. 
  9. Birds have the right of way on all highways.
  10. Monroe: daylight must be visible between partners on a dance floor. 

VermontEdit

  1. Barre: All residents shall bathe every Saturday night. 
  2. Call a Vermont court a "kangaroo court" or some similar moniker, and you might be looking at a $200 fine. It is illegal to defame a court. 
  3. In Vermont it is illegal to paint landscapes in times of war.
  4. In Vermont, women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth. 
  5. It is illegal to deny the existence of God 
  6. At one time it was illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole. 
  7. In Vermont It's against the law (not to mention impossible) to whistle under water.
  8. It's against the law in Vermont for vagrants to procure food by force. Apparently if you have a good job and stable home life, it's O.K. to procure food by force. 
  9. Lawmakers made it obligatory for everybody to take at least one bath each week- - on Saturday night.

VirginiaEdit

  1. A Virginia law requires all bathtubs to be kept out in the yards, not inside the houses. 
  2. Children are not to go trick-or-treating on Halloween. 
  3. A person of color may not be outside or within the city limits after 7 pm (Racist, much?)
  4. Newport:  it's against the law to tickle a girl under her chin with a feather duster in order to get her attention.
  5. Richmond: it is illegal to flip a coin in any eating establishment to determine who buys a cup of coffee. 
  6. It is illegal to tickle women. 
  7. Norfolk: Spitting on a sea gull is not tolerated.
  8. It is illegal to have sex with the lights on.
  9. Swearing at someone over the phone in virginia is punishable by a $100 fine. 
  10.  There was once a law in Salem Virginia that made it illegal to leave home without knowing where you were going. 

WashingtonEdit

  1. All lollipops are banned. 
  2. Spokane: it used to be illegal to interrupt a religious meeting by having a horse race. 
  3. In the state of Washington, there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances. (So basically everyone's a virgin and it's illegal to lose that?)
  4. In the state of Washington it's illegal to catch a fish by throwing a rock at it. 
  5. In Washington, anyone under the age of 18 must have parental permission to throw a tear gas canister.
  6.  It is illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag.  (Stars and Dots)
  7. It is illegal to pretend that one's parents are rich. (Well, that's degrading.)
  8. Wilbur: It is illegal to ride an ugly horse
  9. The state of Washington doesn't allow marathon dancing--or marathon skipping, sliding, gliding, rolling or crawling. 
  10. Washington state doesn't allow fake wrestling. 

West VirginiaEdit

  1. Alderson: One may not walk a lion, tiger or leopard, even on a leash. 
  2.  In West Virginia, it is legal for one to take roadkill home for dinner 
  3.  It is against the law for men to have sex with any animal over 40 pounds in weight. 
  4. It is unlawful for chickens to lay eggs before 8AM and after 4PM.
  5. According to the state constitution, it is unlawful for anyone to own a red or a black flag. 
  6. A person may not hold public office if they have ever taken part in a duel. A person may be jailed for up to six months for making fun of someone who does not accept a challenge. 
  7. Doctors and dentists may not place a woman under anesthesia unless a third person is present.
  8.  Huntington: Firemen may not whistle or flirt at any woman passing a firehouse.
  9. If you wear a hat inside a theater, you may be fined.
  10. Nicholas County: no member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humerous stories from the pulpit during a church service. 

WisconsinEdit

  1.  As people used to smuggle it in from Illinois, all yellow butter substitute is banned. 
  2.  You must manually flush all urinals in a building.
  3. Wisconsin law provides for a fine of $2 to $20 for anyone under age 17 caught jumping onto a railroad car while the train is in motion.
  4. A Wisconsin legislator recently introduced a bill making it illegal to tattoo someone under the age of 18. He was quoted as saying, "I'm going to save the buttocks of a few juveniles." 
  5. Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons. 
  6. Car dealerships cannot sell cars on Sunday. 
  7. Cheese making requires a cheese maker's license; Limburger cheese making requires a master cheese maker's license.
  8.  Citizens may not murder their enemies. 
  9. Connorsville: Wisconsin no man shall shoot off a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.
  10.  In Wisconsin you are allowed to marry your house. 

WyomingEdit

  1. An ordinance in Newcastle specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer!
  2. Cheyenne Citizens may not take showers on Wednesdays. 
  3. In Wyoming it is illegal to tattoo a horse with the intent of making it unrecognizable to its owner. 
  4. It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking. 
  5. It is illegal to wear a hat that obstructs people's view in a public theater or place of amusement. 
  6. Wyoming required that every inmate of the state's training school for girls be issued crinoline bloomers. 
  7. You may not take a picture of a rabbit during the month of June.

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