I have to say, reading puns are a surefire way to brighten my day in times of despair.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
A guy walks in to a bar with a pair of jumper cables, and asks if he can come in. The bartender says "Sure, just don't start anything"
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes. ... A hamburger walks into a bar, and the bartenders says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve food here..."
...A termite walks into a bar and says, "Is the bar tender here?"
...a man walked into a bar, sat down, and ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer, he heard a soothing voice say "nice tie!" Looking around he noticed that the bar was empty except for himself and the bartender at the end of the bar. A few sips later the voice said "beautiful shirt." At this, the man called the bartender over,"Hey...i must be losing my mind," he told the bartender. "I keep hearing these voices saying nice things, and there's not a soul in here other than us." "It's the peanuts" answered the bartender. "Say what?" "You heard me" said the barkeep."it's the peanuts... they're complimentary."
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat when he came across two men; one was sitting under a tree reading a book while the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him proving even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.