The 3 little Wolves and the Big Bad Pig is an obvious spoof of the 3 little Pigs and the Big Bad Wolf. i will write a chapter every week, so on Sundays, keep udated for more story! Please tell me what you think in the comments!
cast[]
name.............................................................................................................................................role
Farty Pants.............................................................................................................................. Big Bad Pig
John #1...............................................................................................................................................Little Wolf
Xavier.......................................................................................................................................Little Wolf #2
bethany........................................................................................................................................Little Wolf #3
turdie butt...........................................................................................................possibly Farty Pants girlfriend
and others!....................................................................................................................................and others!
please enjoy the story!
chapter one - the wild wolf chase begins[]
hello. i am a pig. please don't hurt me. why don't you hurt those little WOLVES instead? boy do i want some wolfmeat.. i have a bad history with wolves. let me tell you my story. i shall first introduce myself, my name is (shoot me now) farty pants. our family has 2 odd things: 1, a history of obnoxiously stupid names, 2, a general gas problem. i have 3 VERY annoying neighbors. i feel like squidward in bikini bottom here. on one side of my house, there are 2 wolves. named john and xavier. they are brothers, and extremely annoying, and on the other side, there is a girl named bethany. also annoying, but when you combine them all, its as annoying as ur little brother irritating you on a 34 hour plane ride unexpectedly running low on gas with "baby" playing on the radio and a person who is snoring really loud in the seat behind you, and a kid kicking it, also. and then suddenly you all die. that's how annoying it is!!! seriously!! but i hear john xavier and bethany waking up. there are all timber wolves, and john is the normal one, xaveir has a HUGE mustache, and bethany has a red bow on her head.
this is farty pants (oddly, he doesnt even wear pants)
oh crud. they are all playing leap frog outside... i hate it!!!!!!!!! so annoying!! HEY WOLVES! QUIT PLAYING LEAP FROG!!! YOUR SO ANNOYING! WHY DONT YOU GO ANNOY YOUR GRANDPA???
we're not allowed to annoy him! his is busy in the hospital about to die! we tried though!
this is john
YOU....YOU TRIED PLAYING LEAP FROG TO ANNOY YOUR DYING GRANDPA??? AWW WHAT THE HECK I AINT GONNA ASK. JUST STOP PLAYING!!!!
this is bethany (i cant get a pic of xaveir, cuz they dont sell mustaches for your pets in webkinz)
we're not playing leap frog, we're playing leap wolf! DUH!!
IT DOESNT MATTER! GO SUCK AN EGG! GO TAKE A HIKE! GO TAKE A HIKE AND SUCK AN EGG ON THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN!
ummm.. hehe.. ok!! were getting eggs to .... heehee!.... suck on the mountain! pffft!
GOOD
back. sorry, that was the engaging conversation me and the wolves had from the window. hahaha! i cant believe those dumbutts are actually going to suck an egg on a mountain! uh oh.. i hear giggling. lemme go check outside the window again.
back.... what are they doing... they have 3 cartons of eggs! geez, that much egg sucking could hurt them! i suddenly know what their doing!!!!
BACK. I AM MAD NOW.
they werent getting those eggs to suck! there were egging my house!! of course my mom would have a hissy fit if she found egg yolk on the house tomorrow, so i went out to defend it!.. and i got hit in the eyeball.. i mean head by 3 eggs at once. and then they used they rest to throw on each other in an egg fight, and then roll all over my yard. how can 3 wolves be so brilliantly annoying! i mean, they arent smart, there just annoying, but how do they come up with this stuff!! its smart in an annoying way, but not really "smart". get the jist?
before they go to bethany's house to steal her eggs to annoy me more somehow (thats how it always happen! i think im annoyed as i can get, and then they do something else to make me more annoyed! everyday is the new annoying record!) i need to get something for them to play with, thats not my nerves, cuz the're certainly getting on them.
back. i just dug round in my bathroom hamper and found some green spray paint (dont ask how it got there) and i gave it to them. finally some peace and quiet! need to calm my nerves. sounds like the worst day of my life right? well this happens EVERY DAY. SO GET USED TO IT. and just as i settle down in my hot tub with a nice book.. i hear more giggling.. how do they know the absolute WORST times to giggle? they are typically my alarm clock! that i cant give back to the store for a refund! be right back. they have some giggling explaining to do.
i go downstairs and open the front door, and they run RIGHT up to the doorframe as if to obstruct my view of something naughty they did.
but they would never do that.
their cheeks turned rosy red. knew they were up to something. i hope i dont have to send them to juvie. did i mention all of them are only 9? 9 year old juvenile delinquents! "hello farty pants! how are y-you today?" john stammered innocently. "we.. umm.... made a present for your mom!" said bethany, adjusting her bow all cutsy like, and handing over a wrapped box.
man, the're good
but then xaveir lost it. he fell on his knees and muttered "PLEASE DONT SHOW YOUR MOM, SHELL NEVER BE ABLE TO DRIVE AGAIN!!!" (i think, i cant always hear him clearly through his mustache) that made me suspicious. "drive??!?!" i yelled. "h-h-he means drive her thoughts straight when she sees the present!" john said quickly after. "so, farty pants, your sopping wet! did we disturb you while you were taking a bath?" bethany giggled, trying to change the subject.
she was right, my shirt was saturated. "HEY! HOW DID YOU.... nevermind" i snapped. i walked out the door and they did too, STILL trying to hide it, whatever it was. "move away! im warning you!" i said and grabbed the nearest thing i could threaten them with, i justr eached my hand inside and picked somethig up. sadly, it was a pack of bras for my mom. i blushed, but still trying to look threatening
but then xavier cracked under pressure and screamed, and threw a pack of ice cream in his and john's garden. when everyone looked at him, he said, "what? its a technique!" but then i looked where he was supposed to be, and threw the pack of bras at john and bethany, and they jumped out of the way and covered their head with their paws like a tornado was coming... but then i saw IT
YOU TURDS!!
i yelled. MY MOMS FANCY NEW WHITE CAR WAS SPRAY PAINTED GREEN! and on the back it said : FARTY PANTS WAS HERE. my mom is gonna kill me! so then.... they RAN!!! the bad thing is, they are REALLY good runners. i HAD to go after them. i have to leave my mom a note. i quickly opened the present bethany made for her, it was a framed picture of me with an atomic wedgie given by the tree, and them standing in the background.
i wrote a note that said "dear mom, out to get more underpants - farty pants" (see? it totally works with the picture!) i taped it to the back of the frame and left it one the kitchen table, and head out, and embarked on the journey to chase those wolves! and.. y'know.. get some underpants..
like it so far? leave a comment on what ya think, plz! next chapter comes out 10/13/12!
chapter 2 - could this get any worse?[]
i put on my oversized backpack, my shin guards, and that white thing the doctors wear around their mouths for special effect. i also has a lacrosse stick in hand in case i needed it. i headed out to chase the wolves!
i ran as fast as i could, a whopping 3 MPH (hey, im a fat pig, what did YOU expect? sheesh! no need to be judgemental!) yelling YOUR GONNA GET IT NOW LITTLE WOLVES! I HAVE MORE BRAS AND I AINT AFRAID TO USE THEM! even thought that sounded really wrong.
i then heard bethany scream, and john yelling "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and xaveir yelling "FARTY PANTS DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND.." his voice trailed off as i noticed the ran into the woods. i stopped in my tracks for a moment. i have always been afraid of the gumdrop woods! something about the chipmunks that roam around have always frightened me. but i faced my fears. i walked in as a chipmunk stepped up to me and squeaked. i wanted to throw up all over it, but instead i reached into my backpack, and pulled out the pepper spray and sprayed it!
it squeaked, run up a tree, did a hip hop dance, then died! i jumped for joy! i knew i was properly equipped for this mission!
you see, here are the things i packed with me in my 'pack
- sleeping bag
- pillow
- many blue shirts just like the one i own
- toothpaste (ham flavored!) and toothbrush
- a deck of cards (hey, im the go fish master)
- a bath robe (just dont ask)
- a jar of peanut butter
- a jar of pickles
- shampoo that is chocolate scented (just in case)
- soap
- a washclothe
- 50 cents (thats all i could scrape off of my bedroom floor)
- chewing gum
- bottle of water
- cell phone
- pepper spray
- nighttime pull-up diapers... wait WHAT? am i blushing? i hope not! um... those arent mine.... uhhh.. john must've put them in here!
i think im gonna stop there.
now that i think of it, this is ridiculous, i mean, its only gonna take me 20 minutes at the most to catch the wolves! so anyway, i i trudge through the tall, muddy grass of the woods, i cant help but worry a little about the wolves, but their probably just tricking me into being scared.
oh my porkchops! yesterday i saw the dreamiest girl EVER! i was at the store getting a new bar of soap (long story, lets just say that bethany ate the old one) and the clerk at the check out counter was a pig like me, and she had it going ON! once i read her name tag, and it said turdie butt, i instantly fell in love with her.and we talked,for a bit and got to know each other! sadly, im not sure i'll ever see her again, i never found out where she lives.
hmm, i just heard a familiar pretty voice.. where was that coming from?
"farty pants! over here!"
i looked where it was coming from. it was TURDIE! i first of all, took of all my weird clothing except my shirt, and stuffed it into my backpack, and then left it there, and ran to her! "hi farty! nice to see you again! wanna join me for my national bacon day party?" i weighed in on the decision, my current mission was to get back on the wolves, but i really wanted to go to turdies party, how lucky was i to find her here anyway? i thought the gumdrop woods were deserted except for the creepy hip hop dancing chipmunks! but anyway, could i do both at the same time? i took and chance and said yes. i guess i'll find out.
i followed turdie to her house, outside, everypig was partying! i started dancing, and then turdie introduced me, and everyone tarted talking to me like i was a new celebrity! i even tried some of the chocolate covered bacon, and it rocked.
but it didnt take long for the wolves to find out where i was. thy come into the party without asking, and the 3 of them consumed almost ALL of the bacon food thewy had out, al of the bacon, chocolate covered bacon, bacon bread, bacon dumplings, bacon muffins, friend bacon, baked bacon, chilled bacon, raw bacon and even the bacon popcorn!
then xavier stood up and yelled "ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?!?!?!" they hopped on over to the DJ, xaveir knocked him out, and put the gummi wolf song on, AKA the most annoying song ever! then john got on the dance floor and started dancing like a mad wolf, he was actually pretty good, even though i was more likely to pepper spray him them compliment him.
apparently, bethany must've gotten in to the special effects place, because the big water fountain in the yard started going haywire, and there was only one to blame. then, at the absolute worst time, turdie asked "farty pants, do you know these crazy wolves?!?!?" then, at the other absolute worst time, john yelled, "hey farty pants, come dance with me!" "how does HE know your name???" asked turdie. i acted like i had as much clue what was going on as some other pig, and said "who are you and why do ou want ME to dance?" "because, farty pants, your my neighbor, and i know you! now come on up and BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE!!!! or else ill tell everyone your little secret!!" i honestly had NO clue what my little secret was, but he couldnt humiliate me any more than i already was, so i just hopped up there and busted a few moves but they threw bacon and eggs at me!!! IVE HAD ENOUGH BACON AND EGGS!
I think the wolves saw steam coming outta my ears, cuz then they threw random toilet paper all over the place then ran. i didnt even say bye to turdie, but i grabbed my backpack and ran after them. ran for like, forever, nil i finally arrived in one if the worlds worst places.
is it not awesome? tell me whatcha think! chatper 3 will be posted on 10/21/12!
chapter 3 - nude beach shenanigans[]
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried the wolves and farty pants simultaneously, as they stepped in the sand of the worlds worst place. it looked horrible. a sight so terrible it shunned the daylight. "IT BURNS!!!" bethany shrieked, and they all covered there eyes and looked away from the nude beach.
farty pants thoguht of turning around and just running back home when he realized this was the perfect opportunity. "NOW that iv'e got you RIGHT where i want you.." farty pants said as he pulled out his lacrosse stick, pepper spray, and wash clothe, and and used the cloth to tie the pepper spray to the lacrosse stick, and BOOM! he somehow had an auto pepper sprayer on a stick.
the wolves knew the had to run along to avoid being killed my ffarty pants, they stole 3 blue shirts and tied them over their eyes to they didnt see the nudity, and ran along the beach. farty pants ran after, swing his pepper spray stick back and forth, up and down, and he even sprayed a few people. apparently some naked dude called the cops on them cuz soon a po-po came and asked them what what they were doing. the wolves kept running in circle , the cops pulled the shirts off their faces, and they started flailing.
"i was chasing these wolves, what does it LOOK ike im doing knuckleheads???"
"HEY!!! you are under arrest for... umm..... ABUSING NAKED PEOPLE!!!"
"HEY! your under arrest for arresting ME when you should be arresting the naked people that i "abused" for public indecency!"
"HEY!! this is a nude beach! there IS no public indecency!" said the cop pointing to the sign
he sign said: big johnson's nude beach "no shoes, no shirt, no pants, no problem!"
wow! farty pants yelled aghast. the cops pulled out their cuffs. RUN!!!!!! they all yelled, and farty pants, john, xavier, and bethany dashed off. "youll never get us now!!!" yelled farty pants,then ran all over town. farty pants stole a 4 seated motorcycle, and told the wolves ro hop on, and they got on the road, and drove it as fast as they could, and the po-pos drove after them, "hey!!! your going 1278 on a 67! thats another broken law!" yelled that cops "WHAT kind of motorcycle Is THIS?" yelled xavier. farty pants ran a red light and purposely struck a pedestrian, as he had to do this to avoid going to jail or breaking any more laws. farty pants kept speeding, and plopped in a piece of gum and started chewing it, but he noticed he had no where to put the wrapper, so he just crinkled it into a little ball and threw it into the street. "litterbug!!" yelled the cop.
farty pants needed as much help as he could, so he pulled out his cell phone. "texting driver!!" yelled the cop. apparently bethany thought it would be funny to randomly squirt shampoo at the nearby building, and she did. "destructing property!" yelled po-po. "their gaining on us!" said john. farty pants quickly jumped off the motorcycle and ran for the rest of the way, with the wolves, he cell phone, and his backpack. they ran to a tree and climbed up it. fart pants started dialing the number of his mom, when john said "ooh a phone! i wanna play a game!" they cops heard his voice and came running for hr tree we were hiding in. he grabbed the phone out of my hand, ran to a stream, threw it im, and stomped on it, and before i could process what was going on in my head, xaveir and bathany joined him.
then i realized. the just broke my cell phone! and this wasnt the first time that happened, they have broke 3 cell phones of mine in the past, with water. and that was the last one my mom said she was gonna give me. and the wolves ruined it! "YOU TURDS!" i yelled at them, and strangled them. i was so mad and to make matters worse the cops just found us and snuck up on us, and handcuffed us.they brought us into a car, and said we would have to stay in jail for a week. mom will NEVER believe it took a week for me to buy underwear!
they took us into jail. i knew i HAD to break out somehow. but how?? these places are like, UBER protected. but, if i know myself at all, ill find a way out. i always do, even is i have to make a microwave out of a paper clip and a coffee mug, ill find a way. i know i will, i though in my head, as the cops brought me and the wolves down the hall to our cell.
was this chapter good? i hope ya think so :P next chapter: 10/28/12!
chapter 4 - framed and put on the wall. or in a cell, rather.[]
i looked into the wolves beady little eyes, while i was in the cell with them. can u believe my poopy luck? I HAVE TO STAY WITH THEM FOR THE ENTIRE REST OF THE WEEK! unless i break out. i can hear them whispering to each other between exchanging looks of guilt with me. we were looking at each other forever when i finally lost it.
"you 3.. you 3 again! YOU 3 HAVE RUINED MY LIFE! you irritated my, you made a fool of me in front of turdie, you broke my last cellphone, you got me arrested!!! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! we are stuck in here for the next week, and NONE of this wouldnt have happened with YOU! now, because of you, IM really mad, turdie thinks im a total pork, we have no way to communicate, and we cant escape! WAY TO GO! i wish i never knew you. i never want to see you again. get out of my life! good day. i bid you farewell." i ranted, and i sat in a corner and faced the walls
i could see tears forming in the 6 little eyes i saw. then they stared bawling. i looked at the miserable little wolves, and suddenly felt bad. a little bit or remorse. "ok, im sorry. i shouldnt have raised my voice like that" i said apologetically. "its not that you raised your voice.. its that you hate us! we love annoying you, but we always thought of you as a friend!" bethany sobbed. i then felt very bad. i didnt know they actually LIKED me!
"you.. you thought so?" i questioned. "yea, we did!" they all said. "we are VERY sorry., farty pants. all we wanna do is go home" said xavier as he started to cry. "and we cant. cuz it our fault." he said. "ya know what? we're breaking out." farty pants announced smugly. "how in traverse city are we going to do that???" bethany questioned. "whats a traverse city?" asked xaveir. "a city in michigan" bethany replied. "nerd." john whispered. "lets focus, and ill tell you all the plan" i said.
i pulled out my backpack full of supplies for my trip. and rummaged through it. i had to break out, the my tools were limited to the ones i packed with me. fisrt off all, i was hungry, so i got out my pickles and peanut butter. "what in sacremento are you eating??" said bethany. "will you please stop with the geographical references?" said john. "want some?" farty pants offered. i handed out a pickle dipped in peanut butter. "ewww!" they all moaned. they didnt want to try such a gross thing. but before they could say no, farty pants shoved the odd snack in their mouths, and they liked it! farty let them eat his food, while he came up with a scheme to escape.
there were 3 guards out, and all of them had to be either distracted or knocked out. i mixed my soap and shampoo to make a slippery goo solution. i then came up with a plan that involved the wolves. i went over to them, and said, "ok, who is the thinnest here?" they all pointed to john, "well, first of all, you need to eat more vegetables." john said. "that was random.." farty said. "well dont u want my tips??? why else would you want me?" he asked. i got out my toothbrush, and got the wolves help to file away one of the bars of the window of the cell to get out, but there were no open windows, so no direct access to freedom. it took a few minutes,. but soon, they were finished filing to the point where john could slip through.
but in the midst of all their work, there was a bird perched in the window that kept innocently tweeting while they were working, and bethany kept getting distracted. "bethany! focus!" i reminded. "i just thought of something. who is gonna pick us up? if someone meets us outside of the prison, we can leave faster!" bethany had an important point. we could use the bird to deliver a message! i wrote a letter on a playing card to someone ,ANYONE and tied it to the bird. "WHAT ARE YA DOIN, BUB??!?" asked the bird. "i know what kind of bird this is! the foul mouthed sparrow!" said bethany. "YOU BET YER BUTT I AM!!" he said. "look, i need help desperately bring this message to someone, anyone! my parents, john, xaveir or bethanys parent, or even turdie. just help me!!" asked farty pants. "whatevs" said the bird as he flew out the window.
soon, it was time to do the plan. john quietly as not to disturb the guards slipped out, and farty pants threw his peanut butter out the window on the other side, but it didnt break! the peanut butter jar was only made of plastic! sadly, i had to give up my pickles. i threw my pickle jar out, and it shattered on the ground, and pickle juice spilled everywhere. then, john jumped out an preformed a sneak attack on the guards, he squirt toothpaste in the eyes of the one with the keys, then knocked him, out with a punch and a kick, and used the keys to unlock the cell, as the other that were looking at the pickle jar realized what happened they came over to stop john, but bethany stuck her paw out between the bars and kept hitting his head with a water bottle until he was knocked out.
by that time the lock was opened and farty pants, bethany, and xavier could come out, and farty pants squirt his slippery goo (which was in the shampoo bottle) to make the third guard slip, and then an alarm went off, LOTS more guards were on their way to stop the wolves and farty pants! all they had to do was escape. and if they werent darned brilliant all together, which they didnt know, it wouldnt happen.
done this chatper! sorry for all the postponing. :P next and final chapter = 11/11/12 (aka PANIC DAY :( )
chapter 5 - jailbreak disgraces, dangerous races, and highway chases[]
"LETS MOVE!!" yelled farty pants as the united crew of wolves and pigs took off. fart took charge of the slimy squirty stuff, and the john and bwethany did what they could with the remaining supplies. but xaveir didnt do anything, because he was to stupid. he just followed. bthany put a sleeping bag on a guard, and zipped it shut so he was trapped, john squirt toothpaste in the eyes of numerous guards. the guards then said "mmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!! ham!" (which of coarse frightened farty pants) i worked kinda like a tranquilizer!
they then came across a HUGE quarter mile deep gorge in the ground, like an unnecessarily deep mote. the could get across unless one of them magically sprouted wings! but then... XAVEIR SPROUTED WINGS! just kidding!!!!!!!!!! haha yea. but just in front of than, there was 1 guard left. ready to stop then from magically getting across. they were thinking of what to do when a familiar sound disturbed them.
click clack! it sounded like money. 50 cents exactly. they all turned their heads, to find XAVIER SPENDING 50 CENT THEY HAD AT A VENDING MACHINE!! they had to go now, because a horde of guard were starting to chase them from behind. "XAVEIR!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING???????" scolded john. "HOW IN TUSCALOOSA HECK DID A VENDING MACHINE GET HERE????" YELLED PERPLEXED BETHANY. xavier sat there waiting for something to happen. short of a major miracle, like xaveir becoming intelligent for a minute, there weren't going to make it. "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" yelled xaveir and did a victory jump. "look guys!" he said. and he help up the giant butterfinger bar and bottle of fanta he got from the vending machine. "ya know what xavier? eat it. drink it. i bet this is how you want to spend your last minute. eating as butterfinger, and drinking a fanta. go ahead. do it. were not gonna survive anyway" john said, tearing up. xavier kept looking back and forth and then wolves an then at his snacks. "well? ya gonna drink it?" shouted bethany angrily. "no." replied xavier. he then threw the fanta across the space between him and the last guard. it hit the guard square in the face, and he fell in the gorge! "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!" they all congratulated xavier about his sacrifice. the guards behind were still gaining on them. how were they gonna get across? find out after this commercial break! we'll be right back!
- commercial break*
welcome back! they noticed slightly above them was a little platform, and across the gorge on the side was another platform, but that one had a set of 4 things that looking like the swing seats for babies. they notice there was a boig red button above it. they thought if they hit the button, the swing would shift over here!but how would they hjit the button? find out after this!
just kidding!
xavier then did beyond what he was ever expected to do. yes, he threw his butterfinger at the button. they all stared at him aghast. how did he ever have such good aim??? they congratulated him once again for saving their lives, as the swings came over there.but unfortunately, one of the guard threw a knife at the swings in hope that it would fall down, but it cut one swing off, which was still bad enough. one would have to stay, but farty just WOULDNT let that happen. he had to go to extreme measures to escape. fary pants got out one of his diapers, and attached it to the latch when the old sea t used to be, while the 3 wolves sat in front,. fart pants sat in the back, using a diaper as a seat. it was embarrassing but he had to do it. they slowly slid down the zipline to the exit of the prison to see if anyone was there.
much to their surprise, they saw hooves. pink ones. who could it be?? the zipline finally reached the end when they found out, IT WAS TURDIE! "turdie! im so glad you came back!" yelled farty pants. they jumped out of the seat, and ran with turdie "oh, farty! you had these smart little wolves with you the whole time! i didn't know they were your friends,m and it was wrong of me to judge you like that" she said.
turdie was looking extra cute today. she was wearing a green dress and she had shiny black hair in pig tails. (get it? PIG tail? it's weird how they're all obsessed with pigs. that like humans being obsessed with.. uh... humans!) they couldn't just go home on foot. then they would get caught. first, farty pants came up with a disguise. he got on his bathrobe, and he found a sombrero and a pair of sunglasses on a nearby parking lot just outside of the prison. at the same place, they found transportation! what a convenient lot! farty pants got a segway, turdie got a motor scooter, and the wolves got a 3 seated motor bike. they quickly drove away, then police car started to chase them!
soon, they were all on a highway. the police station addressed a law enforcement warning to be broadcasted on the radio. soon. every car with radio played heard the same message at the same time. "this is a message from the police station. we are on the lookout of a pig wearing a.. fluffy blue bathrobe... a sombrero... a pair of black sunglasses... and .. a diaper. if you see this pig. please call us, send us a picture, take cover, and put on the nearest gas mask. thank you." one driver saw farty pants, took out his cell phone and gasped. a took a picture! "I FOUND YOU!!!" HE yelled, cruising along the highway next to them. "i cant wait to tell me friends i saw LADY GAGA!" he yelled, and drove away "THATS LADY OINK OINK TO YOU!" fart pants yelled at him, back.
we finally got to the neighborhood. farty pants was riving to his house, trying to lose the po-pos chasing them, they even drove on the rooves of some houses to get away! they then go to the house, and crashed into the garage. as the cloud of debris deteriorated, they heard farty pants' mom saying "sweet hot dogs above! its taken you this long to get underpants?" eventually all was forgiven after a bit, and everything was sorted out.
in the years in the future, farty and turdie were engaged and teenage john, bethany, and xavier still come over and bother them to this day. i think we can all learn a few things from this curly pink tale. no matter how annoying someone seem in the first place, always give them a chance, they might be a good person to be around if you get sent to jail someday. you shouldnt always judge people by their friends. maybe they would be good people too, if you think about it. of you break a law, dont break more. this just end up a big accident. also, sometimes, no matter how much you hate the people around you at the minute, ya just gotta team up sometimes, because, even if the extra brains are stupid, 4 brains are better than 1. typically. well, and last but not least, how should i put this...... always accompany a pig going to get undergarments. ;)
The End!