Fartsy the gorilla gets a bath another edition to fartsy the gorilla series By: The B & E’s pub co.
One day Fartsy was playing poopsy were playing and poopsy said when was the last time you got a bathhhh!!!! You Stink!!! And fartsy said hey I always stink!!! No I mean body stink not BUTT stink!!! HUUHHH Bath? I have never heard of it. Why don’t you go home and ask your mom what a bath is. OK says fartsy, fartsy thought as she farted all the way home “ what is a bath? I hope it is some sort of candy bar!!!”Fartsy got home and she yelled Mom What is a bath. Fartsy dear Would you like a bath said Mrs. Gagh ( Fartsy Mom) YeaI am really Hungry Says Fartsy loudly. Oh, Dear Oh, Dear Here Mrs.Gagh handed Fartsy a piece of broccoli and fartsy took a bite. Yuck Baths taste yucky!! Oh, Honey that’s not a bath that’s broccoli you said you were hungry. A Bath is when you sit in water and get clean. Oh!! Said Fartsy I thought a bath was food!! What’s the point of that!!! Well said mrs.Gagh the point of it is it will help you smell good!!! It only works on us gorillas it doesn’t work with them smelly people you call humans. I will take a bath if it means I can play with poopsy again. Ok said mrs. Gagh “but I have to go pick up dinner, butt I will leave you with a list of how to bathe yourself” her moo headed out the door and fartsy went upstairs to take a bath. She saw the bathroom and she took a gulp of water and spit it in the bathtub to fill it butt she couldn’t figure out why it cep’t going away!!!! So she looked at the drain and she farted and looked for something to clog it with. Eventually she found fresh dog turds outside! But next to it, she found a dead raccoon she could use she took it and started to spit! In 2 days, she was finished! She sat in the cool water. “what the bleep”? how am I getting clean??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then something TERRIBLE HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!!! SHE FARTED IN THE TUB ! BBBBBLLLUUUBBBBPPP! Than fartsy jumped uot ouf the tub! What was that?! It felt like butt gas, but it made a bubble any wayyyyy… fartsy looked at the list her moo gave her and it said:
1. Get a washcloth
2. Soap it up
3. Rub it all over your body
4. Rinse it
5. Get shampoo
6. Wet your head
7. Put shampoo on hands
8. Rub it on your head for 2 mins
9. Get conditioner
10. Same shampoo procedure
11. get out and dry
12. Okay you are done.
hmmmmm, watchcloth.. I wonder what that means. Fartsy, dripping wet, wen’t downstairs where her great pee wee (fartsy calls her grandma that) keeps her $350 antique watch that her great poo poo (her grandpa) bought her. There was a $100 red velvet clothe that was next to the watch she took it and went back to the bathroom. Soup it up? Butt why? Fartsy went downstairs to get some soup. Did I mention fartsy wasn’t good at reading? she accidentally farted on her moo’s favorite vase. It stunk SO BAD THAT It SHATTERD! Oops said fartsy, heading towards the kitchen. She found some bean soup by her favorite brand, shefpund. Their motto is “of all the soups be it plastic or glassy, our bean soup will make you extra gassy!” She poured some on the cloth and the can o’ soup into the tub.she started rubbing the clothe on thyself when she thought, if this will help me get clean, blowing bean soup on me at a high speed will also work! she got a 100lb fan that blew wind at 900000mph and turned it on. DUH DUH DUHHHH! The wind blew so fast!!!!!!!!!!!! It spilled water and bean soup everywhere! The whole bathroom was a mess! The can of bean soup blew a hole in the wall and miles and miles away, or it couldv’e just been her neighbor, yelled “curse you, fartsy the gorilla”! oops said fartsy she called her cousin vince who looked like this:
If she could borrow a sham wow to clean up.
Next she needed to find sham’s poo. She called her friend sham to ask for some poo. Later sham came over to give fartsy her poo. Fartsy put the poo on her head and tracked mud in the house then she put a shower cap on over top of it and dunked her head in the water for a few hours. The cam’s dentures (conditioner)was too much work . Eventually fartsy got out. She rested her head in a bowl of dog food until her moo got home in that time , she farted a total of 87 times. When moo came home, it was a complete mess. But fartsy got to play with poopsy. i guess fartsy is just not for the life of cleanliness. fartsy stinks and always will
The endd!!!!!!!! :)